Valentines Day is almost upon us and for most people, it’s a day to show your significant other how much you love them. A day for ‘in-love’ couples so to speak. When in reality we have 365 days in the year to do just that. However, many people often think that disabled people don’t date, don’t have relationships, don’t love or be loved. Although that really couldn’t be further from the truth. The Undateables is a Channel 4 TV series that sets out to prove that disabled people do all of the above and more. It’s a dating show for disabled people and it follows them during their search of finding love with the help of dating agencies through a series of matchmaking and blind dates.
Now in its 8th series, The Undateables has shown and raised awareness of a wide range of disabilities both mental and physical as well as visible and invisible. Becky Dann is one of the participants in the latest series of The Undateables. Today, I’m thrilled to have the lovely Becky share her story. She explains what it means to be disabled and date and why The Undateables has helped her realise she isn’t undateable.
Becky’s Story: The Undateables
It’s come to the end of Series 8 of ‘The Undateables’ and I was lucky to have been part of it.
I have been a fan of the show since the first series but it wasn’t until I reached an age where I started dating that I really started to relate to the people on it.
The way I feel about being disabled and dating is down to how society has treated me. I applied for the show because I was continuously let down and most of the time it was because people acted as though my disability was something awful that I should hideaway. I felt undateable.
Not every disabled person feels this way, I have a few disabled friends that have had long-term relationships, which is great, but there is a large portion of the disabled community that does find dating difficult and that shouldn’t be dismissed or ignored because others don’t find it difficult.
I am a big believer in educating people and I want more people to understand that being disabled doesn’t mean people don’t want to have relationships. I think that this show is an amazing platform to educate people about different disabilities, especially when the show attracts a lot of younger viewers.
Admittedly, I had my reservations about going on the show to start with and that was actually down to me worrying about what the disabled community would say, rather than worrying about what able people would say. That was until I came across Carrie’s blog where she writes about how the show helps the disabled community and it helped me realise that I should stick to my beliefs.
It upsets me to think that the disabled community feels the show exploits disabled people because I don’t agree at all. Having been part of the show I know that the people making it aren’t sat around laughing, they’re genuinely lovely people. They never do anything that you don’t want to do, they take care of your access needs, and so for me, they paid for my taxis to filming locations. They always made sure I was comfortable and if I felt uncomfortable filming would stop. Not once did I feel ‘exploited’. I cannot put into words how amazing the team are.
I’m so glad I went on the show because I have had so many people contacting me, people who also have Scoliosis and who also feel ‘undateable’ and they’ve thanked me for making Scoliosis more visible because it isn’t talked about enough in the media.
I no longer feel undateable because this show has helped me to realise that no one is undateable. We all want the same things and the world isn’t all that bad. I know I will find someone someday and the show has given me the confidence to believe in myself more.
A special thank you to Becky for sharing her story and thoughts on being disabled and dating. For more from Becky, you can visit and follow her at the following links.
Website: Rebecca Dann
Twitter: @BeckyDann
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Photos courtesy of Becky Dann, The Undateables and The Sun.
7 Responses
I’ve never watched it but recently I’ve heard good things about it including this so I’ll check it out at some point.
It’s the name that put me off, like those sometimes well made documentaries about a known disease that may as well be titled things like “the man who looked like a zombie because he was possessed by a demon”.
Ok, a *little* bit like those titles.
This is a fantastic interview. I hope that she gets her happily ever after one day. #BlogCrush
I’ve never watched the show because I’ve always assumed it was a bit exploitative so it’s really great to hear about this positive experience and how the team on the show are really helpful and positive. I don’t have a disability myself but my daughter does, and it’s one of those things that you worry about for your kids – what will their future look like? will they find a special someone?
Also, congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush
I dontd often watch it but I did seethe episode with Beckyand she had a lovely date. Have seen aafew others over thetyearstandt they always seem lovelyl I believe there’s even been a wedding #loveisintheair
Good to hear such a positive take. I had dismissed this show as as one of those patronising, exploitative things the likes of Channel 4 seem to produce now. Must watch it. #BlogCrush
Emma, this is a really beautiful story and Becky is such an amazing and beautiful woman! I love her willingness to be vulnerable and go on the show in an effort to spread more awareness. And I also appreciate your willingness to do the same. I think all too often, people get caught up in their own little worlds, that we forget to recognize the struggles that others may have. I am a huge proponent of educating society on these topics. So thank you for educating me with this post.
#BlogCrush
Shelbee
http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com
What a great story. I’ve ever watched the show but glad to hear it doesn’t exploit the people on it.
And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the #BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂